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“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas Edison

“God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.” – Voltaire

“I am easily satisfied with the very best.” – Winston Churchill

“If you’re in control, you’re not going fast enough.” – Paul Arden

“You die. You’re buried and fertilize the plants. The plants are eaten by snails. Man eats the snails. Now you are a Frenchman. Voilà!” – Paul Arden

“Remember only this, that you are British, and in the lottery of life you have won first prize.” – Cecil Rhodes

“It’s a sorry truth of commercial lives that we naturally assume any product that uses testimonials in its advertising is lying through its snake-oily teeth.” – AA Gill, Sunday Times 15 June 2008

“Snowflakes are one of nature’s most fragile things, but just look at what they can do when they stick together.” – Vesta Kelly

“Golf is a sport for liars, drinkers and cussers who like to walk two or three miles belaboring an object 1/45th their size with a loaded cane.” – Vesta Kelly