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“If the minimum wasn’t acceptable it wouldn’t be called the minimum.” – George Muncaster (Air Force Wisdom)

“Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.” – Woody Allen

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.” – Albert Einstein

“The fact that no one understands you doesn’t make you an artist.” – Unknown

“People who never get carried away should be.” – Malcolm Forbes

“I love deadlines. I especially love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams, Author, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

“One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife’s ear.” – J.B. Morton

“My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.” – Paul Getty

“USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.” – David Letterman

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.” – Robert A. Heinlein

“A horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead.” – Stan Laurel

“Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.” – Unknown

“Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” – Franklin P. Jones