Tour bus

Things you will never hear on a musician’s tour bus:

Shouldn’t we go back for the drummer?

Oh no you don’t! It’s my turn to clean the bathroom.

Go roll ’em down the aisle all you want. They’re only cymbals.

So, I just walked her home, kissed her goodnight, and came back to the bus.

No, the monitor mix was perfect. I just screwed up.

Twenty percent? Our manager should get at least 30 percent!!

Why is there porno in the VCR?

Checkmate!

Can you believe all the money we’re getting?

Boy, I can’t wait till we get to Omaha!

No thanks, I don’t want another beer.

Ladies, I need to see some proof of age please.