Snappy answers

Snappy answers…I usually think of stuff like this after the fact and then kick myself for being so slow.


A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.  As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and opened his trench coat and flashed her.  Without missing a beat she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.”


A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.  She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”  The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”


The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding pulled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said.  The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”


A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.  A sign comes up that reads “low bridge ahead.”  Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.  Cars are backed up for miles.  Finally, a police car comes up.  The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, heh?”  The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”